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Shadowblocks's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Shadowblocks's favorite FMLs
Today, I started my job at a kids summer camp. The first little girl to arrive told me to close my eyes and open my hand because she had a "surprise" for me. Yep, a dead, decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise. FML
by sydneyp3435 / 06/11/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML
by laptitesouris / 03/31/2013 at 7:35pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids
Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML
by Anonymous / 11/06/2012 at 1:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by messyvictor / 01/28/2012 at 11:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/29/2011 at 9:05am / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous
Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML
by Anonymous / 07/26/2011 at 10:05am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, I woke up finding out I had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything, aparently I talked through out my dream, she was right next to me listening. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2010 at 10:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I got a flat tire on the highway. If that wasn't bad enough I had no spare in the car. By the time I got a ride to get a new tire, someone was nice enough to fix my air conditioning for me. They smashed out my window to break in. The doors were not locked. FML
by Gearhead369 / 10/03/2010 at 12:39am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Transportation
Today, it was my co-worker's birthday but she told me not to mention it. Feeling bad for her, I went out to buy her a card, a present, and even a small cake. It turns out that there was actually a party during our lunch break, and I was the only one in our office not invited. FML
by Anonymous / 06/05/2010 at 6:36am / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, I ran into my ex's family, and found out they are going to Europe. Funnily enough, so am I. Even funnier is the fact that we are going on the same date, at the same time, on the same flights, and the tour starts on the same day in the same place. FML
by jacques / 02/02/2010 at 9:08am / Australia (Queensland) / Holidays
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
by Achoo / 10/15/2009 at 3:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by notsexy / 05/09/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
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