Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 06/18/2015 at 3:05am) | Search for a member
About SexyQueen0905 : Well, if you are reading this "About Me" then I won't disappoint.
- NOW AN OFFICIAL UCHICAGO STUDENT!!
-I'm a huge Queen fan. Completely obsessed. For example, my username has "Queen" in it and 0905 is the birthdate of the late Freddie Mercury, the lead singer of Queen and my idol.
- I'm quite a serious tennis player..
- I will do anything to get to Italy and I mean ANYTHING!!!!
- I'm black and proud of it!
- You will never find a firmer supporter of gay rights (who is not gay)
- I'm a liberal. Got a problem with that, go to hell.
- I am an atheist. (See second sentence of previous bullet)
- Yes, I realize the irony of the the previous bullet.
- Extras and Flight of the Conchords are my favorite TV shows
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML
Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML
Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML
Friday 24 July 2015