Selki

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Offline (the 10/04/2014 at 6:11pm)

Selki

1Fucked!

Selki
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 January 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 953
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Selki : Likes: You c:
Dislikes: Let us not go there, shall we?
.•Brunette with Glasses•.
.•What's this talking to people and social life you speak of?•.

•Walk My Way, Mrs. All American•
•My Happy Little Pill, Take Me Away•
•No One Knows it's You Miss Jackson•

Selki's page activity

Visits<b>BFons</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 3:10am<b>missalyssaxo</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 10:47pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 5:54am<b>ty7in_topic</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 12:31am<b>bingo__O</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:06pm<b>himwhomlaughs</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:30pm<b>LolliDolly</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 8:56am<b>thief1434</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 8:41pm<b>perfectacara</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 1:29am<b>animalover9</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 10:31pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:38pm<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:18pm<b>noah_1234</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 6:30pm<b>hardflip95</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 7:00am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:06am<b>ZDR</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 7:36pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 10:49pm<b>Callilah</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 3:58pm

Fucked!<b>LolliDolly</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:56pm

Selki's FML badges

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Selki's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, I had a volleyball game, and we were down by 13 points. I looked up at the crowd, and my mom was shaking her head in disappointment. When it was my turn to serve, I aced them, and tied the score. When I looked up she was gone. She'd left. When I got home, I heard how I sucked for an hour. FML

by Lexi801 / 09/18/2014 at 9:56pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

by criminal tit offender / 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML

by pda / 08/24/2013 at 10:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

by Treats For Days / 07/19/2013 at 9:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2013 at 1:53pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

by I think its dead / 01/15/2013 at 2:33am / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

by Sprtsgeek13 / 09/13/2012 at 8:37am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML

by chlolivia / 02/13/2012 at 7:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 7:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2011 at 1:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids