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Scorpio1691

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Scorpio1691

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Cape Town, South Africa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1980 (35 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 542
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Scorpio1691's page activity

Visits<b>Sleep_lover654</b> - yesterday at 8:54pm<b>demix</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 6:58am<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:27pm<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:52pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 6:06am<b>Bethaneey</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 2:32am<b>nishimehta</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 7:15am<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 9:08am<b>musifer</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 3:22am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 4:45pm<b>Mezzacarina</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 12:52pm<b>lndala</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 11:34am<b>Gunslingeress</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 1:18pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 4:03pm<b>charbel</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 1:50pm<b>kaz55</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 11:46am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 10:22am<b>Halo_MasterChief</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 9:31am

Fucked!<b>Sleep_lover654</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 5:26pm<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 3:08pm

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Scorpio1691's favorite FMLs

Today, I received yet another letter from a relative bitching me out for not involving my parents in my wedding. The parents who showed no interest in our relationship and then yelled at my fiancé and me when we announced it to them, calling us stupid, naive, heathens, and mentally ill. FML

#21520696
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22292) - you deserved it (1500)

On 01/29/2016 at 7:51am - misc - by TheyObjectToTheUnholyUnion - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I finished reading a manga series on a website I go on all the time. As I read the last page I got a huge celebratory message from the website saying I was the first one to read every manga on their site. The website opened in 2011 and has over 30,000 manga. My God, I need a social life. FML

#21514123
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21471) - you deserved it (6173)

On 01/11/2016 at 9:47pm - misc - by Lesser spotted female gaming nerd (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad read that if you pass gas from both ends at the same time it will create a vacuum inside your body and you'll implode. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#21501049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19933) - you deserved it (1573)

On 12/07/2015 at 8:28am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I learned that the only way to get my boyfriend to respond to me is through nudes. FML

Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML

#21463927
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24140) - you deserved it (2042)

On 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm - animals - by pansypup - United States (New Mexico)

Today, after the doctor poking around my urethra and vagina at a lump, she turns to me and says, "I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what that is. Have some antibiotics and we'll see how it goes in two weeks." Excuse me while I go panic in a corner. FML

#21463826
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23462) - you deserved it (1500)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:10pm - health - by freakingout (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I was putting the cat outside. He wouldn't go, so I kicked him. Then I woke up to my husband screaming. I’d been dreaming, and the "cat" I kicked was his family jewels. FML

#21458762
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (8538)

On 08/21/2015 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

#21296136
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45588) - you deserved it (4531)

On 11/10/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by SisterOfTard (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52612) - you deserved it (4691)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend texted me saying, "I have some Durex and want your help" so I rushed to her house. She had meant to say "Dulux". I had to help her paint her bedroom. FML

#21257403
96 comments

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55680) - you deserved it (4866)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46341) - you deserved it (6485)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40433) - you deserved it (21630)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

#21089044
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39470) - you deserved it (6296)

On 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm - misc - by NotInTheRightPlace (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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