Scorpio1691

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Scorpio1691

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  • Town/Country : Cape Town, South Africa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1980 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 975
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Scorpio1691's page activity

Visits<b>BabooonLove</b> - yesterday at 6:03pm<b>laurenada</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 3:27pm<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 2:07pm<b>someonesometime</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 12:37pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 6:31pm<b>meltingturtle</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 2:50am<b>thekoneko</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 12:14pm<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 5:56pm<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 1:36am<b>BlueBaronBitch</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 9:02am<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 11:26am<b>Steffi3</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 2:12pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 5:54pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 6:08pm<b>Glamisbound</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 10:55pm<b>stingray112</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 9:11pm<b>3szbkp</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 1:50pm<b>TheEmoTrinity</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 10:57pm

Fucked!<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 8:08pm<b>meltingturtle</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 8:50am<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 11:56pm<b>somegirl1234</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 12:34pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 12:23pm<b>Sleep_lover654</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 5:26pm<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 3:08pm

Scorpio1691's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Socialite

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Scorpio1691's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to the sound of my cat knocking things over. It wasn't until my boyfriend sat upright and checked, that I realized it actually wasn't our cat, but my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend trying to get into our second-story window. This isn't the first time she's done this. FML

by WendigogoAway / 08/15/2016 at 5:46am / United States (Ohio) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was checking my kitten's neutering stitches when he farted so hard that a stray piece of cat shit shot out and hit me in the eye. FML

by BodyElectric / 07/26/2016 at 1:06am / Animals

Today, my sister played a prank by pretending to break into my house. I ended up nailing her in the chest with my baseball bat. Now all of my family is bitching and wants me to pay the medical bills. FML

by BlueBaronBitch / 06/24/2016 at 10:59am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my sister played a prank by pretending to break into my house. I ended up nailing her in the chest with my baseball bat. Now all of my family is bitching and wants me to pay the medical bills. FML

by BlueBaronBitch / 06/24/2016 at 10:59am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her I was at my dad's house, she clarified; she meant her husband of one year, not my actual father who has raised me for the past 25 years. Apparently, he feels "left out." FML

Today, after getting fired, I went home only to find my boss sitting my living room. Apparently, he and my mom had been dating for months and he felt compelled to let me go because it was a "conflict of interest". FML

by mermaidkeels / 06/18/2016 at 4:51am / United States / Work

Today, I started my first training day using an MRI machine and completely forgot to remove my nipple piercings before I went in. I've never experienced a pain so vile and lingering in my life. FML

by somuchhatesolittleworld / 05/09/2016 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to repeatedly explain to my nosy, interfering, clingy, no-concept-of-personal-space mom that I'm not okay with her moving into my new house, or the same neighborhood, or even the same goddamn state as me when I get married next week. FML

by kill me / 05/06/2016 at 8:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML

by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML

by John_Elvis / 04/08/2016 at 11:30pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I decided to be honest and told my husband I didn't love him anymore. It ended with a warrant for his arrest. FML

by ktpnothappening / 04/03/2016 at 12:03pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out about my sister's insanely detailed plan to abduct my one-year-old son and raise him as her own on another continent. All my mom did was tell me not to worry because she can't afford to move that far away. FML

Today, my mother-in-law told me that God won't allow me to have a baby with my husband because we're both agnostic. Yet it seems God thinks her druggie daughter can have two just because she's a Christian. FML

by Tiny_Nerd / 03/08/2016 at 10:00am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML

by thatcreepyteacher / 02/16/2016 at 11:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.