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Schmohams's FML badges
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Schmohams's favorite FMLs
Today, I was feeling sick and I farted so loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML
by minnie / 08/28/2009 at 2:30pm / United States / Health
by nosrepamai82 / 07/26/2009 at 12:28am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML
by LondonKitsch / 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
- Today, after getting peanut butter all over my hands trying to give a pill to my puppy, I quickly… Today, while standing next to my work van pulling out tools for a job, a man snuck up within inches… Today, I was told by the girl I spent over a thousand dollars flying cross-country to get away from…