Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 497
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Schmohams's page activity

Visits<b>Clint15</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 3:16pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 9:18pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 11:49pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 10:40pm<b>iAlissa</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 8:37pm<b>cheekychimp23</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 7:03pm<b>LaLa_xo</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 1:26pm<b>dchomchai</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 3:54am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 9:48pm<b>StateChampBoy</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 5:46pm<b>Cristhian8</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 1:14am<b>xlord</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 12:05pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 6:22am<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 9:45pm<b>NotTheDroid</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 9:44pm

Schmohams's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Schmohams's badges

Schmohams's favorite FMLs

Today, I was feeling sick and I farted so loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51206) - you deserved it (6645)

On 08/28/2009 at 2:30pm - health - by minnie (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63172) - you deserved it (5792)

On 07/26/2009 at 12:28am - love - by nosrepamai82 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48597) - you deserved it (28623)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (515610) - you deserved it (50821)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML


I agree, your life sucks (274597) - you deserved it (64736)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: