SchindlersLiszt

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Offline (the 03/13/2014 at 1:46am)

SchindlersLiszt

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 828
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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SchindlersLiszt's page activity

Visits<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:37am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:42am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 5:29pm<b>lfrider92</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 2:59am<b>tbro47</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 7:04pm<b>blackzi11a</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 9:42am<b>aireeahna</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 11:40pm

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SchindlersLiszt's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

by LeChameauTrisomique / 03/14/2014 at 12:33am / France (Centre) / Work

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

by are you kidding me? / 03/10/2014 at 4:22am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Miscellaneous

Today, the tickets I bought for my favorite band's concert arrived in the mail. The concert was last night. FML

by MsConfusedd / 10/27/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, during parent/teacher conferences, my mom told my Chemistry teacher that I have an intense crush on him. There are still 7 months left in the school year. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 10:04am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

by Madster15 / 09/15/2013 at 2:05am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

by Kat_Styles / 07/19/2013 at 4:51am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML

by skrillexblewme / 08/02/2012 at 12:30pm / United States / Transportation

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

by toothpaste / 01/19/2012 at 7:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 11:52am / United States / Kids

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

by FullOfNick / 09/10/2011 at 3:11am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

by scully11 / 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

by tgd4444 / 07/23/2011 at 6:29am / Malaysia (Johor) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends sat me down and said they were concerned I was self-harming. I don't self-harm, I'm just a massive klutz. They don't believe me, and want me to get professional help. And now, because I found it all so funny, they think I'm mentally unhinged. FML

by Alisha / 03/30/2011 at 1:28pm / United Kingdom (Stirling) / Miscellaneous