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Scarylizard1798

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Scarylizard1798

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Scarylizard1798Scarylizard1798
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1217
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Scarylizard1798 : If only I could hit the fuck button for myself...but that's YOUUUUUR JOB...no...no one...ok 😂😂😂

Scarylizard1798's page activity

Visits<b>catherine012</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 9:16am<b>albertozeta</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:43am<b>gamergirl18155</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:57pm<b>laceeb23</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:58pm<b>rutalking2me</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:38pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 6:13pm<b>xwingtwo</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 1:05am<b>ljrdz</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:40pm<b>dannyj3895</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 5:35pm<b>RayneWolf13</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 2:02pm<b>Kyra1</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 4:29pm<b>tbro47</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 11:40am<b>Soccerfan2002</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 12:49am<b>Sexy_Time</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 8:11pm<b>cannedpeas</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 6:35pm<b>JoshArson</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 4:54am<b>SouthernPride95</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 9:09am<b>Yeshua</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 10:55pm

Liked!<b>xwingtwo</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:08am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:24pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 8:08pm<b>Kellacirillo</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:21am<b>summer135790</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:58pm

Scarylizard1798's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

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Scarylizard1798's favorite FMLs

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

#21366785
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10699) - you deserved it (5409)

On 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm - misc - by Microtron - United States (Ohio)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15857) - you deserved it (47811)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31277) - you deserved it (6757)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my fiance and his family accused me of being with him only because he's rich, refusing to go ahead with the wedding. I accepted his marriage proposal 4 years ago, when he was penniless and unemployed. FML

#21362501
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39159) - you deserved it (2166)

On 02/24/2015 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, whilst laying in bed with my girlfriend, she received a flirty message from her ex on her phone asking if she wanted to go to the cinema. She replied, knowing I could see the screen. The messages were signed with a love heart and about 15 kisses. She claims they are still just friends. FML

#21362430
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30334) - you deserved it (3310)

On 02/24/2015 at 6:50am - love - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I tried to blackmail my douchebag boss for a raise, since I had ample proof that he's screwing a co-worker. Turns out he and his wife are in an open relationship, and HR doesn't give a damn about office romances. Now I have to quit or deal with the most hostile work environment ever. FML

#21358578
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13555) - you deserved it (56578)

On 02/18/2015 at 1:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

#21355947
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28835) - you deserved it (8985)

On 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

#21355411
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33588) - you deserved it (1834)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML

#21350891
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36718) - you deserved it (2593)

On 02/06/2015 at 11:56am - love - by that guy - United States (California)

Today, my wife's boyfriend learned that you can't flush condoms. FML

#21348539
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43256) - you deserved it (2585)

On 02/02/2015 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by StantheMan93 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41661) - you deserved it (2513)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

#21335645
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32234) - you deserved it (3705)

On 01/12/2015 at 7:53am - love - by fukinlonely (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML

#21335369
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32054) - you deserved it (2589)

On 01/11/2015 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

#21333944
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39859) - you deserved it (2461)

On 01/09/2015 at 2:04pm - love - by je suis christy - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



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