About SayPeanuts : "Look, now he’s going up on that little ladder. Up he goes with that little wiggle of his. The wiggle of Judas. The Judas boogie."
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SayPeanuts's favorite FMLs
by DandoisFLAT / 08/11/2013 at 10:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 5:30pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by well okay then / 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML
by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 1:02am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML
by the girl next door / 05/07/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML
by itsellie27 / 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML
by KingUrge / 04/26/2013 at 4:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML
by great idea / 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 5:22am / United States (New York) / Kids
by Susan / 03/18/2013 at 4:59am / Ireland / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous
by pdub523 / 01/27/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML
by shiney100893 / 01/14/2013 at 7:56am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…