Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SauceySarah

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

SauceySarah

8Liked!

SauceySarah
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5290
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About SauceySarah : My whole existence is an anomaly. Music is what makes my life worth living.

SauceySarah's page activity

Visits<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - 12 hours ago<b>frostedfoster</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Railworker12</b> - 18 hours ago<b>adrianvons</b> - yesterday at 4:50am<b>Thoms34</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 7:03pm<b>bigmike3000</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 1:49pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 10:09am<b>Corey122726</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 6:23am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 4:31am<b>PNiggZ</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:13am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 6:32am<b>John0613</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:00pm<b>Loomunati</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 9:26am<b>WoodenBoy</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 12:48am<b>kmarshofmywindow</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 10:38am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 8:37pm<b>xninix</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 9:29pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 8:03pm

Liked!<b>Murkyy</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:35am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 3:00pm<b>RA91</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 1:20pm<b>supreme_umbra</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 4:54am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:52am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:59am<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 4:30am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:31am

SauceySarah's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of SauceySarah's badges

SauceySarah's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53723) - you deserved it (5444)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40314) - you deserved it (3251)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36895) - you deserved it (5491)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss pretty much told me that I'm too ugly to meet clients, and should stay in the office doing the paperwork. So basically, I'm a modern day Hunchback of Notre Dame. FML

#21232284
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38189) - you deserved it (3504)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:13am - work - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49251) - you deserved it (21277)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43065) - you deserved it (6142)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML

#21161395
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41994) - you deserved it (15635)

On 06/03/2014 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48048) - you deserved it (5073)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46840) - you deserved it (5195)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46009) - you deserved it (5314)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

#21146042
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41121) - you deserved it (8076)

On 05/20/2014 at 5:54am - misc - by sothishappened (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35189) - you deserved it (55429)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

#21129926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39157) - you deserved it (3191)

On 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by shylahrc - United States

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43735) - you deserved it (4993)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

#21113376
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38687) - you deserved it (6687)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:24am - misc - by heycutie - United States (Michigan)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: