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SauceySarah

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SauceySarah
  • Town/Country : USA, ..
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2180
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SauceySarah : Music is my everything. Just a quirky yet rad gal that doesn't really give a shit.
I'm: Sarcastic. Blunt. Annoying.
Forever Alone. By the way, I probably have stalked your account before.

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SauceySarah's favorite FMLs

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44188) - you deserved it (20773)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57582) - you deserved it (5667)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

#20803758
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36816) - you deserved it (17604)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

#20791178
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38345) - you deserved it (2816)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

#20788707
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55429) - you deserved it (18775)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53054) - you deserved it (18204)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45839) - you deserved it (12850)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML

#20773985
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27118) - you deserved it (42143)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:38am - misc - by RickTheBoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

#20762710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42961) - you deserved it (8615)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by idk ask freud - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50574) - you deserved it (6901)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48322) - you deserved it (57898)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51820) - you deserved it (4651)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML

#20691781
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21970) - you deserved it (45748)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by Amber - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61553) - you deserved it (13914)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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