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SaturnV

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SaturnV

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 January 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2485
  • Number of comments : 202
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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SaturnV's favorite FMLs

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

#21363021
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27506) - you deserved it (2834)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm - animals - by Sarah1330 (woman) - United States

Today, apparently when you tell a hairdresser "A little off the sides." they hear "A bowl cut, please, and make it look extra stupid." FML

#21354162
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29434) - you deserved it (3273)

On 02/11/2015 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30208) - you deserved it (3295)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35116) - you deserved it (3670)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

#21343273
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30369) - you deserved it (4631)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

#21342311
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26896) - you deserved it (8967)

On 01/22/2015 at 3:23pm - health - by annoyed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

#21341483
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36449) - you deserved it (2362)

On 01/21/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32787) - you deserved it (3412)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend when I began dozing off. I was then awoken by an explosive fart. It was me. FML

#21340117
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29460) - you deserved it (5032)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32674) - you deserved it (5245)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML

#21320583
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29502) - you deserved it (2057)

On 12/19/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by cantunhear - United States (New York)

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

#21318606
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24432) - you deserved it (33161)

On 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm - health - by fuck - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

#21316246
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28016) - you deserved it (6817)

On 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm - work - by driven_crazy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, during a moment of silence in front of the entire high school during my band concert, I managed to hit the stand with my flute, and loudly scrambled to catch it before it fell over. I've never had so many people look at me. FML

#21309681
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25895) - you deserved it (3128)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by Silverfeathery -



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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