About SarcasticShade : I'm a person who does and doesn't do things. I like and hate things. I live somewhere and my favorite thing to eat is food.
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SarcasticShade's favorite FMLs
by nemesis5196523 / 12/03/2013 at 2:45pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend got on one knee and started talking about how we met. Knowing what was coming, I started tearing up, absolutely sure he was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes, he quickly stood up and yelled "HAH, JUST KIDDING". FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2013 at 7:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
by spooked / 11/22/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Indiana) / Kids
Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML
by Anonymous / 11/21/2013 at 3:37pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Intimacy
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids
by Catcrap! / 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML
by crixon42 / 11/18/2013 at 6:39pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by ericabearr / 11/18/2013 at 3:14pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by what_a_loner / 11/17/2013 at 5:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML
by raz_berri93 / 11/17/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by gonnafail / 11/16/2013 at 3:18pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents, despite my long-standing protests. Over the next hour, they asked her if she'd ever considered becoming a swinger, why not, if she'd ever consider it in future, and to keep them in mind if she does. FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2013 at 7:10pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by maddie / 11/06/2013 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm / United States (California) / Health
- Today, I bought my very first new car. I thought I was being pretty clever using the reverse camera… Today, I had a romantic moment with my lifetime crush and one of my best friends. We were having a… Today, in a sleep-deprived rush, I went to use the washroom and refill a bottle of water. I somehow…