Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Sarairwin49

Online | Search for a member

Sarairwin49

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 March 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1419
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Sarairwin49 : 19 years old- i love music- I'm country/rocker- i have a heart of gold.-I'm a great friend, and will listen if anyone needs someone to talk to- I'm short(bout 5'4) - I love to read- I just finished high school (yay!!)- I'm a big city girl- I spend a lot of time online- I love to cook and try new foods- I'm pro life- love=love - open minded- love making new friends- love learning new languages- adventurous- self-conscious xc- i believe inner beauty is what counts- hard working- I'm taken my the best ~12.11.12~- Feel free to message me!! ( nothing dirty or flirty please!) Thanks!

Sarairwin49's page activity

Visits<b>LeBandit</b> - yesterday at 1:38pm<b>Isak366</b> - yesterday at 7:30am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:08pm<b>steeler088</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 11:15am<b>JackSkellingtons</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 10:36am<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 6:32pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 6:46am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 1:06am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:36am<b>slimblack</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:36pm<b>Benlop</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 8:39pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 8:44am<b>mechaix101</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 9:09pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:46pm<b>black_day</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:21pm<b>SaveEdit</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:42pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:35pm<b>DHoang22</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 3:49am

Sarairwin49's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Sarairwin49's badges

Sarairwin49's favorite FMLs

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML

#20407423
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9028) - you deserved it (59912)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29843) - you deserved it (4533)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16210) - you deserved it (61201)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20603) - you deserved it (2684)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

#20083631
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22421) - you deserved it (9114)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11441) - you deserved it (38205)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (4927)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26434) - you deserved it (4072)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15849) - you deserved it (29247)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44078) - you deserved it (5087)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML

#18374198
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48891) - you deserved it (3767)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:51am - love - by nirvana_mama157 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

#17989700
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27225) - you deserved it (4634)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - kids - by myfamilyisodd (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the hillbillies who inhabit the apartment above mine got karaoke machine. It's 1 am and they're singing Achy Breaky Heart. FML

#17715363
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30938) - you deserved it (2940)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:18pm - misc - by 5.9Cummins (woman) - Canada

Today, my husband went downstairs to play Call of Duty. When he came back after only 20 minutes I said, "Awww, did you miss me?" He said, "No, the controller died." FML

Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML

#17645605
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24528) - you deserved it (4761)

On 09/02/2011 at 4:44pm - misc - by d0rk_ - Canada (Quebec)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: