Samuu212

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Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 6:55pm)

Samuu212

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 December 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1045
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Samuu212 : Hey there :3

Samuu212's page activity

Visits<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 7:30pm<b>DeadshotDaquiri</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:37am<b>jelly_rolls</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 2:49am<b>animalover9</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 1:57am<b>billionair11</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 11:31am<b>RinkuTheHero</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:56am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 3:15pm<b>fairy1775</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 11:40pm<b>Paulcs</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 7:47am<b>Welshite</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 4:34pm<b>killerky</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 3:47am<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 10:00am<b>KatieMajestic</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 11:26pm<b>StarrliteFire</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 1:35am<b>Angel_of_Night</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 1:22pm<b>FMLkoala</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 7:53am<b>JFloUnknown</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 3:10pm

Samuu212's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Samuu212's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

by lunarstrain / 11/08/2011 at 1:11am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

by May / 09/04/2011 at 12:08am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

by Nick / 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

by ifpigsflew / 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

by Username / 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm / Kids

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

by whatheffers / 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, one of my employees lit my tie on fire. FML

by mcdman / 01/19/2010 at 12:00am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, while standing by the kitchen window I noticed a mouse running across our lawn on top of the snow. I called my two daughters to come see it, but by the time they got to the window a hawk was shredding the poor thing to pieces. My kids didn't stop crying for two hours. FML

by motheroftwo / 01/06/2010 at 3:41am / Norway (Oslo) / Animals

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

by dinosaurman / 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 12:27am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

by Loveless / 09/10/2009 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 5:58am / New Zealand (Otago) / Miscellaneous

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

by Shaun / 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy