Samuu212

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Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 6:55pm)

Samuu212

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 December 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1067
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Samuu212 : Hey there :3

Samuu212's page activity

Visits<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 7:30pm<b>DeadshotDaquiri</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 1:37am<b>jelly_rolls</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 2:49am<b>animalover9</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 1:57am<b>billionair11</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 11:31am<b>RinkuTheHero</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 12:56am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 3:15pm<b>fairy1775</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 11:40pm<b>Paulcs</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 7:47am<b>Welshite</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 4:34pm<b>killerky</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 3:47am<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 10:00am<b>KatieMajestic</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 11:26pm<b>StarrliteFire</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 1:35am<b>Angel_of_Night</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 1:22pm<b>FMLkoala</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 7:53am<b>JFloUnknown</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 3:10pm

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Samuu212's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum begged me to let her put fake nails on me to practice for her styling exam. I've been sitting on the toilet for the past half an hour trying to figure out how to wipe without damaging something. FML

by Mojo0608 / 03/05/2014 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

by friedbutter / 10/28/2012 at 10:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

by NoorFML / 10/19/2012 at 10:37am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML

by Alliente / 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm / United States / Love

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

by Bishop / 06/06/2012 at 10:19am / Transportation

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

by Kait / 04/05/2012 at 12:13am / United States / Work

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my extremely OCD girlfriend wouldn't have sex with me because my bedroom wasn't "properly symmetrical." FML

by gtfoocd / 12/27/2011 at 10:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

by Stalked / 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals