About SammyS2012 : Ummm, hi?
Well I'm Sammy. I am on this site 99% of the time by means of the app, so I don't really see private messages.
There's not much to say :/ I'm a boring person.
I try to be as polite as I can in comments, but sometimes you can tell there's some attitude in it. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and to see all perspectives.
That's pretty much it? Bye!
About SammyS2012 : Ummm, hi?
SammyS2012's FML badges
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
SammyS2012's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a round brush stuck in my hair so badly that I couldn't get it out for 45 minutes, and had a panic attack. I had to drive through town with a brush dangling from my head, to the hair salon, and listen to them laugh while they got it out. FML
by maggie / 11/30/2011 at 2:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Tyler / 11/19/2011 at 3:05am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/03/2011 at 3:29am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML
by Awie / 10/20/2011 at 4:26am / Austria (Wien) / Love
by confused / 09/28/2011 at 12:55am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/23/2011 at 6:41am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Prinpette / 09/20/2011 at 5:20pm / France / Intimacy
by Alexandra / 09/20/2011 at 4:25am / Lebanon / Intimacy
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/30/2011 at 7:24am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by bTOhno / 08/13/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, I returned home from college. I found out that my dad ran over my cat months ago and tried… 3Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After…