About SammyS2012 : Ummm, hi?
Well I'm Sammy. I am on this site 99% of the time by means of the app, so I don't really see private messages.
There's not much to say :/ I'm a boring person.
I try to be as polite as I can in comments, but sometimes you can tell there's some attitude in it. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and to see all perspectives.
That's pretty much it? Bye!
About SammyS2012 : Ummm, hi?
SammyS2012's FML badges
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
SammyS2012's favorite FMLs
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML
by Holls / 04/12/2012 at 9:47am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML
by Hana / 03/23/2012 at 3:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML
by tellingthetruth / 03/21/2012 at 12:25pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Intimacy
Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML
by S. Michaels / 03/14/2012 at 11:17am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymoosey / 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm / Canada / Intimacy
by hatinthelife / 02/18/2012 at 1:34am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by zobara / 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm / Switzerland / Money
Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 5:45am / Russian Federation / Intimacy
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 11:20am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by pops up / 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…