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Sam_d07

Offline (the 02/08/2016 at 10:57am) | Search for a member

Sam_d07

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 486
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Sam_d07 : Don't like to write these stuff. Feel free to ask.

Sam_d07's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Sam_d07's badges

Sam_d07's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking to my car with 600 dollars worth of books because I start college next week, when I was robbed by some guy that sounded like Cartman. He punched me because I could not stop laughing whenever he would try to threaten me. FML

Today, I tried to vacuum to surprise my mom with a clean house. The vacuum started shorting out, sparked, and then burst into flames mid living room. FML

#21456542
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25247) - you deserved it (1964)

On 08/16/2015 at 12:10am - misc - by fire starter - United States (California)

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33421) - you deserved it (4609)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got in trouble for punching my sister. Apparently, it still counts if it's in Minecraft and she looked like she was going to steal my stuff. FML

#21456039
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22938) - you deserved it (2548)

On 08/14/2015 at 3:31pm - misc - by RobotUnicorn1209 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

#21455978
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24236) - you deserved it (2212)

On 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Brooke (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boss for a promotion. "You don't work here but I can give you a job application." I've been working here for 8 years. FML

#21448654
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26936) - you deserved it (1966)

On 07/28/2015 at 4:44pm - work - by Application - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30619) - you deserved it (3829)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40675) - you deserved it (2461)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

#21384188
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29233) - you deserved it (2617)

On 03/30/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by noantiquesforme - United States (California)

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

#21384025
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40931) - you deserved it (3613)

On 03/30/2015 at 6:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

#21374736
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36087) - you deserved it (13129)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after 4 years of nicely asking, I wrote an official memo to our logistics department, asking for new chairs for my subordinates. The logistics people came and concluded that there are more broken chairs than good ones, but suggested that perhaps we should all go on a diet. FML

#21372747
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27325) - you deserved it (2869)

On 03/11/2015 at 8:36pm - work - by Matei - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40307) - you deserved it (4725)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

#21299049
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29678) - you deserved it (4818)

On 11/14/2014 at 4:58pm - health - by gspotter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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