SamSwebb

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Offline (the 05/12/2016 at 2:32am)

SamSwebb

20Fucked!

SamSwebbSamSwebb
  • Town/Country : London, United Kingdom
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 September 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8698
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About SamSwebb : Hi 👋

SamSwebb's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 1:01am<b>wafflelover</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 5:53am<b>andrmac</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 12:31pm<b>kquals</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 2:35am<b>WCARlover</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 11:54pm<b>anonymous0110902</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 10:10am<b>TonierShadow</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 11:04am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 2:23pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 7:53am<b>lexred</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 6:16am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:16am<b>psmith78332</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 11:36pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 5:02am<b>JustinJK</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:06am<b>Pandaling</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:04am<b>fmlphoenix</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:38am<b>Kah1on</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 10:50pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 7:42pm

Fucked!<b>TonierShadow</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 5:04pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:42am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 3:31am<b>audreymatteaxox</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 4:38pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 4:11am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 3:42am<b>seetei</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 7:03pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 5:32am<b>becre8ve</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 6:31am<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:40am<b>marctdiaz</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:23am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:14am<b>StaceeeP</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:56am<b>Dylanlev05</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 6:26am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 4:40am<b>amamalfoy</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:05am<b>FamousPeace</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:39am

SamSwebb's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of SamSwebb's badges

SamSwebb's favorite FMLs

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

by Annomymous / 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health

Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML

by Anonymous / 01/20/2015 at 6:04am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

by pissed out pants / 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend bought a new toaster. It not only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly. It makes me scream in terror every single time. My boyfriend has now vowed to "Toast 'til the end of time." It's going to be a long year. FML

by sayhey22 / 01/09/2015 at 10:33am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

by whovian / 12/25/2014 at 10:17am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

by Mr_snuggels / 12/24/2014 at 3:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook showing a side-by-side view of me before and after I'd tried out my new makeup. My dad commented, "What is this, Gollum cosplaying an Orc?" My mum, brother, and over 20 "friends" liked his comment. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2014 at 2:36pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Geek

Today, someone backed straight into my car as I was hunting for a parking spot. I just got my car back from the body shop after a hit-and-run. FML

by shit_fer_luck / 12/16/2014 at 11:35am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML

by Heyjai / 12/16/2014 at 9:31am / United States (New Jersey) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

by driven_crazy / 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML

by #goodbyelife / 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML

by Michelle / 12/05/2014 at 10:35pm / United States (Maryland) / Love