Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SamSwebb

Offline (51 minutes ago) | Search for a member

SamSwebb

8Liked!

SamSwebbSamSwebb
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 September 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4693
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About SamSwebb : Hi 👋

SamSwebb's page activity

Visits<b>Tierrastokes</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:14pm<b>Araj_Hs</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:25am<b>romanocheese</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:12am<b>marctdiaz</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:07pm<b>blu8</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:58pm<b>feckmelife</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:53am<b>norse21</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 7:42pm<b>Goodliife</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 3:04pm<b>adam822</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:33am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 11:53pm<b>Mctatertot</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 11:29pm<b>brim826</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 7:13pm<b>StaceeeP</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 6:56pm<b>Erisapphire</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 3:19am<b>royr7395</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 3:05am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 11:13pm<b>Dylanlev05</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:04pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 6:29am

Liked!<b>marctdiaz</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:23am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:14am<b>StaceeeP</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:56am<b>Dylanlev05</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 6:26am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 4:40am<b>amamalfoy</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:05am<b>FamousPeace</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:39am

SamSwebb's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of SamSwebb's badges

SamSwebb's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML

#21360286
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20549) - you deserved it (26041)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my extremely hot coworker told me that I smelled good. At a complete loss for words, I replied, "Oh, I'm sure I don't." FML

#21359386
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26364) - you deserved it (4722)

On 02/19/2015 at 7:14pm - misc - by thisiswhyimavirgin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34242) - you deserved it (4888)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32762) - you deserved it (3364)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while skiing down a steep mountain, a man ran over my skis, causing me to fall and roll down the slope. When I regained my balance, I saw the man had followed me just to say "How graceful" and continue on. FML

#21355416
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26423) - you deserved it (1977)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:31pm - misc - by jostertoaster12 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

#21349612
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38731) - you deserved it (3979)

On 02/04/2015 at 11:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34114) - you deserved it (2324)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

#21347104
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26911) - you deserved it (2592)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a job interview at a café. The interviewer asked me my availability and I told her that I was fully flexible. She laughed and said, "Really? That's tragic." FML

#21345516
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25549) - you deserved it (2251)

On 01/28/2015 at 8:09am - work - by tipmeover (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27890) - you deserved it (8280)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer blatantly farted as I sat down, then she sneered, "Making yourself comfortable, I see..." FML

#21344008
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29057) - you deserved it (2189)

On 01/25/2015 at 1:21pm - work - by fartje - Netherlands

Today, I noticed that my boyfriend's sister looks at my ass more than my boyfriend does. FML

#21343548
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27534) - you deserved it (3017)

On 01/24/2015 at 4:40pm - love - by whitebitch16 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

#21343273
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30053) - you deserved it (4610)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38083) - you deserved it (6700)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML's badges: pointless but essential!
  • If you're a regular on FML, it probably means that you're a member. Whatcha mean you're not a member? Right, for a start, run along and create yourself an account. Doing so will allow you to comment on…

Monday 23 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: