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SamKiwi

Offline (the 10/18/2015 at 4:04pm) | Search for a member

SamKiwi

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 February 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2793
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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SamKiwi's page activity

Visits<b>Silentshdw13</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 12:30pm<b>getoffmyscreen</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:11am<b>glossy12</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 12:54am<b>_OF_WG_KTA_</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:54am<b>hammerhead2015</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 7:38pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:19am<b>Eabbs</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:19am<b>sarah2144</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:08am<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:54am<b>joe3</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:57pm<b>MrCommunism</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 2:04pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:00am<b>dk1991</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 9:09am<b>iT_Cereal</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 9:48pm<b>muarif</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:09am<b>hkhan24</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:42am<b>brandonwong</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:42am<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:01am

Fucked!<b>_OF_WG_KTA_</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 6:54am<b>hammerhead2015</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 1:39am<b>tranced_</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 4:01pm<b>dk1991</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 3:10pm<b>hkhan24</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:43pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 7:01am

SamKiwi's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of SamKiwi's badges

SamKiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38674) - you deserved it (12907)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML

#21063366
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24793) - you deserved it (42657)

On 02/17/2014 at 12:43pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML

#20963690
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47170) - you deserved it (3702)

On 11/19/2013 at 7:19pm - love - by unwantedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53052) - you deserved it (4531)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

#20883504
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45372) - you deserved it (5718)

On 09/16/2013 at 7:09am - love - by Kit (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35104) - you deserved it (2895)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32937) - you deserved it (19847)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

#19101207
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39287) - you deserved it (5952)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38557) - you deserved it (8852)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

#17121994
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29952) - you deserved it (5102)

On 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm - health - by beachbumb8538 - United States

Today, after 14 rice-filled days in China, I came back home. What's for lunch? Rice. FML

#17120359
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30839) - you deserved it (9580)

On 07/15/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by panos016 - United Kingdom



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