SaintJupiter

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Offline (the 07/14/2015 at 11:24am)

SaintJupiter

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 948
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About SaintJupiter : Matt F.
I'm on a high school mountain biking team (RICO) which is part of the SoCal league division and like gaming, cycling (duh) and guitar. Message me if you want to talk; I'm always up for a friendly conversation!

Instagram: matthewfoulston

SaintJupiter's page activity

Visits<b>anmurphy101</b> - 12 hours ago<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 2:53am<b>anak36</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 11:10pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 3:34am<b>hutch12</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 4:24am<b>lifesafaitytale</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 11:50pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 6:42pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:53pm<b>asmb100</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 8:27pm<b>MattBenid</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 4:18pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 4:00am<b>JEFFEBEANS</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 4:04pm<b>ElementSponge</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 11:30pm<b>babywatcher</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 10:22pm<b>jeremycruz</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 3:41pm<b>davered89</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 2:47pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 8:36pm<b>jsgervais84</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 12:38pm

Fucked!<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 12:43am<b>anmurphy101</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 2:26am

SaintJupiter's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of SaintJupiter's badges

SaintJupiter's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML

by MonsterProblems / 01/07/2015 at 2:07am / Croatia / Health

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I spent my afternoon rummaging through old jeans and other pants, due to being broke and needing cash for ramen. FML

by baconistasty27 / 08/01/2014 at 1:33am / United States (California) / Money

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

by ifeelfat / 06/17/2014 at 4:44pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came down with diarrhea thanks to a particularly low-class restaurant. My dad has been making constant stupid puns like "pretty shitty state you're in" and "this day and age, you just don't expect this crap". I'm at the point where I want to gouge his eyes out with a goddamn spoon. FML

by fuckmuppet / 05/27/2014 at 1:04pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

by Birthday Surprise / 05/26/2014 at 5:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was looking at some cellphones with my dad, when an assistant asked if we needed help. My dad said, "Yeah, does this have parental controls? My son watches some freaky stuff, some damn freaky stuff." I don't watch anything weird, but thanks for humiliating me, dad. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2014 at 1:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents decided to get with the times. So far, they've made me get Snapchat and Instagram accounts, and made me add them on Facebook. They keep acting like annoying teenagers, and get mad at me when I don't play along. For the love of god, somebody save me. FML

by Anais Strongrump III Jr. / 05/09/2014 at 4:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

by randomusername99 / 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

by Zekrome / 05/05/2014 at 3:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

by Numbass123 / 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

by Mortifiedcharityworker / 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm / Austria / Work

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

by damn / 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy