About SWhimsynBubbaS : I finally put some of my lazy ways behind me to tell you some things about myself. My name is Mariah and I come on FML to get a good laugh in or just to see some of people's crazy situations. I generally am a laid-back person (my way of saying lazy) who loves to sit back and relax. I can, however, be a bolt of energy when im caught on the right times. I love socializing with people, although I am a shy person when i first meet someone, in most cases. I love listening to music. I'm a smiley and giggly person which, I can admit, can get a little annoying at times. And finally, my username. Its just a mix of all of my pets names put together so it looks like a bunch of mumbo jumbo. I absolutely love animals and wish to become a veterinarian. So there are some stuff about me! Now, back to the site...
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SWhimsynBubbaS's favorite FMLs
by BeatByA9yrold / 04/12/2014 at 3:59pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before he'll go on any more dates, he'd require me to take a series of "oral exams" to prove I'm right for him. I think he actually expected that to work. NEXT. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2014 at 6:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Jehovah God / 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML
by accident / 02/14/2014 at 5:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love
by neighbor / 01/26/2014 at 8:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML
by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML
by NotGabe / 09/01/2013 at 10:25am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML
by mcdonalds / 08/06/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Health
by JustSomeGuy / 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by amiezingme / 07/26/2013 at 9:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her another girl's name. FML
by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 4:47am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…