SApprentice

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Offline (the 10/28/2014 at 10:11pm)

SApprentice

46Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10550
  • Number of comments : 503
  • Number of FMLs : 3 confirmed out of 53 posted

About SApprentice : I try to be a very nice person, because people should be nice to each other. However, I honestly feel disdain and contempt for a lot of people. It makes me a bit of an a** sometimes. I apologize if I'm ever an a** to you.

I'm getting married in a few months. My life has sucked for years, but maybe it'll get better soon. My fiance and I are planning on children soon after our wedding, and I'm really hoping I don't mess them up. Whatever my faults, I want to be a good mom.

Text speak, poor grammar, and bad spelling all bother me. I refuse to type like that.

I believe that all humans, including myself, are terrible monsters, and life is about trying to be a little less of a horrible person.

That's about everything. I hope your day goes well.

Edit: I am happily married to my wonderful husband, and have become a very content mother. Life has never been so pleasant for me.

SApprentice's page activity

Visits<b>claudiajean</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 12:56am<b>Techno101</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 10:45am<b>FlutterLoud</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 1:45am<b>ILoveMyDogs420</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 12:55pm<b>ashby_nail</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 10:38pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 3:40am<b>plab</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 4:52am<b>MyGFisaturd</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 1:37am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 1:42pm<b>llama01</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 11:17pm<b>Pinkgal123</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 5:32am<b>slappygecko</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 4:36pm<b>MRVOlivia</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 12:26pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:36pm<b>heysana</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 8:35am<b>joco4</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 1:00pm<b>roman11</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 8:18am<b>xfireds</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 6:49pm

Fucked!<b>claudiajean</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 6:56am<b>crimsonfyre</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 6:15am<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 9:27am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 1:22am<b>Xenolythic</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 7:20pm<b>Dreamer_in_Time</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 5:19pm<b>R_Sage88</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 4:40pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 3:08pm<b>lilysykesss</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 10:13pm<b>Soosuj</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 4:38pm<b>crack229</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 8:50pm<b>arabian22</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 8:27am<b>unipup122</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 7:22am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 1:49am<b>MasterTron</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 8:22pm<b>FlutterLoud</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 7:49pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 6:17pm<b>facbine33</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 5:49pm

SApprentice's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of SApprentice's badges

SApprentice's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad decided to get his friend to help move our old sofas to save money. Its leg got stuck in the doorway, scratched the entire hallway wall, punched a big hole in it and the other leg made a big dent in our front door. We live in an apartment complex and now have to to pay for everything to be fixed. FML

by Harry / 12/05/2009 at 12:29am / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, was my mom's birthday. I recently got my first job, thanks to her, and could finally afford to buy her something nice. I spent my first paycheck ever on buying her a very nice bracelet. She said it was nice, then asked if I would mind if she exchanged it for one she actually liked. FML

by mybmw / 10/14/2009 at 6:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML

by shitballs_911 / 10/07/2009 at 7:13am / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. After hundreds passive aggressive comments, my boyfriend and I went into the kitchen. I started complaining to him about how his parents were horrible and mean. Little did I know, his parents had followed us in and were right behind me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2009 at 11:18am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML

by whatgoesaround / 08/15/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month she decided to change her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in the relationship with. FML

by waitthatsnotme / 08/14/2009 at 8:39pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML

by rivercitybarf / 08/08/2009 at 4:48am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work in a lab. I spent all day growing a large bacterial culture. I went to retrieve it, only to find that someone had turned the incubation shaker up too high, and my flask had flown off and shattered. Not only did I lose all my work, but now the whole room is a biohazard. FML

by startingover / 07/18/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

by homedoggieo / 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, my wife tried to catch the bouquet at my sister's wedding. Afterward I informed her that only single women were supposed to do that, and she replied "I know". My wife told me that she was divorcing me at my sister's wedding. FML

by dwaggle / 07/01/2009 at 8:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML

by xero_art / 06/26/2009 at 5:51am / United States (North Carolina) / Money

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

by the_captain / 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML

by flowerfail / 06/16/2009 at 5:13am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I pulled up to the stoplight near my house. It was dark with no traffic and the car behind me kept edging closer and closer to me. I finally got fed up with waiting and the car and ran it. In fact, it was a cop and he was trying to read my license plate because the back light was out. FML

by PulledOver / 06/01/2009 at 1:10am / United States / Transportation

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

by Jess / 05/30/2009 at 8:48am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids