SApprentice

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Offline (the 10/28/2014 at 10:11pm)

SApprentice

45Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10231
  • Number of comments : 503
  • Number of FMLs : 3 confirmed out of 53 posted

About SApprentice : I try to be a very nice person, because people should be nice to each other. However, I honestly feel disdain and contempt for a lot of people. It makes me a bit of an a** sometimes. I apologize if I'm ever an a** to you.

I'm getting married in a few months. My life has sucked for years, but maybe it'll get better soon. My fiance and I are planning on children soon after our wedding, and I'm really hoping I don't mess them up. Whatever my faults, I want to be a good mom.

Text speak, poor grammar, and bad spelling all bother me. I refuse to type like that.

I believe that all humans, including myself, are terrible monsters, and life is about trying to be a little less of a horrible person.

That's about everything. I hope your day goes well.

Edit: I am happily married to my wonderful husband, and have become a very content mother. Life has never been so pleasant for me.

SApprentice's page activity

Visits<b>missmorggan</b> - yesterday at 1:42pm<b>llama01</b> - yesterday at 11:17pm<b>Pinkgal123</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 5:32am<b>slappygecko</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 4:36pm<b>MRVOlivia</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 12:26pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:36pm<b>heysana</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 8:35am<b>joco4</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 1:00pm<b>roman11</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 8:18am<b>xfireds</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 6:49pm<b>AzureDawn</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 2:49pm<b>crimsonfyre</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 12:15am<b>simplyme486</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 8:46pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 3:44pm<b>EevieBear</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 1:23pm<b>junelle_tugade</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 4:03pm<b>chazic300</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 2:51pm<b>Bullshitticus</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 1:26am

Fucked!<b>crimsonfyre</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 6:15am<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 9:27am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 1:22am<b>Xenolythic</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 7:20pm<b>Dreamer_in_Time</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 5:19pm<b>R_Sage88</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 4:40pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 3:08pm<b>lilysykesss</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 10:13pm<b>Soosuj</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 4:38pm<b>crack229</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 8:50pm<b>arabian22</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 8:27am<b>unipup122</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 7:22am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 1:49am<b>MasterTron</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 8:22pm<b>FlutterLoud</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 7:49pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 6:17pm<b>facbine33</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 5:49pm<b>Coffee5555</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 5:23pm

SApprentice's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of SApprentice's badges

SApprentice's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

by anonymaiacciu / 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm / France / Intimacy

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

by Igor / 12/19/2012 at 12:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, as my 12 hour shift was about to finish, a young boy came in wanting to buy a $200 gaming device. His mom said he was purchasing it with his own money, which I found admirable. That is, until he took his piggy bank out of his backpack. FML

by Ethan_18 / 12/14/2012 at 12:10am / United States / Kids

Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML

by bestnameright / 12/09/2012 at 10:53pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML

by bestnameright / 12/09/2012 at 10:53pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

by mdg / 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML

by SweetheartSusie / 12/04/2012 at 4:19am / United Kingdom / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML

by new name / 11/06/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love