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SApprentice

Offline (the 10/28/2014 at 10:11pm) | Search for a member

SApprentice

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8429
  • Number of comments : 503
  • Number of FMLs : 3 confirmed out of 53 posted

About SApprentice : I try to be a very nice person, because people should be nice to each other. However, I honestly feel disdain and contempt for a lot of people. It makes me a bit of an a** sometimes. I apologize if I'm ever an a** to you.

I'm getting married in a few months. My life has sucked for years, but maybe it'll get better soon. My fiance and I are planning on children soon after our wedding, and I'm really hoping I don't mess them up. Whatever my faults, I want to be a good mom.

Text speak, poor grammar, and bad spelling all bother me. I refuse to type like that.

I believe that all humans, including myself, are terrible monsters, and life is about trying to be a little less of a horrible person.

That's about everything. I hope your day goes well.

Edit: I am happily married to my wonderful husband, and have become a very content mother. Life has never been so pleasant for me.

SApprentice's page activity

Visits<b>ZeeroKamarrii</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 2:36pm<b>RaizeKira</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 10:21am<b>steph2987</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 8:10pm<b>DarkSoul666</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 10:00pm<b>172pilot</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 1:02am<b>Cyrena4343</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:00pm<b>newyorkerkyle</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 2:47pm<b>AnonymousKrew</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 12:44am<b>Michaelaarnett</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 2:44am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 12:59pm<b>hodgepodge365</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 6:25pm<b>zonlach</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 7:12pm<b>dbpdp</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 2:22pm<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 1:15am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 11:23am<b>IthinkYouForeign</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:46pm<b>Shattersmith</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:20pm

Fucked!<b>steph2987</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:59pm<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:14am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 5:23pm<b>Loewe90</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 3:53am<b>ToxicMoo33</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:03am<b>PonyButt</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 3:43am<b>ellymae96</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 5:02am

SApprentice's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of SApprentice's badges

SApprentice's favorite FMLs

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

#21125451
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36477) - you deserved it (4601)

On 04/28/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Cat vs. Dog - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

#21020901
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49769) - you deserved it (5281)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm - misc - by bear food - United States (California)

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

#20882967
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40177) - you deserved it (11427)

On 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm - misc - by BaMiTsAnYa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

#20866691
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34947) - you deserved it (6309)

On 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm - misc - by JustAnotherFML23 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML

#20825465
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58157) - you deserved it (5090)

On 08/07/2013 at 12:34pm - misc - by shampoomice (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53021) - you deserved it (12095)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML

#20788139
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69631) - you deserved it (4089)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:20am - misc - by ilivehere (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44469) - you deserved it (32534) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54137) - you deserved it (3474)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69395) - you deserved it (3983)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML

#20711432
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50366) - you deserved it (4992)

On 06/07/2013 at 9:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68382) - you deserved it (19354)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML



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