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Rxp's favorite FMLs
Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML
by faulty plumbimg! / 08/31/2013 at 8:14am / India / Health
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
by thanks, dad... / 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm / Romania (Maramures) / Kids
Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML
by etgohome / 08/25/2013 at 8:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by LizzyJones / 08/20/2013 at 1:38pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by need € for new iron / 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy
Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML
by the girl next door / 05/07/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
by ADickySituation / 05/05/2013 at 12:14am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by future brain bleach addict / 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by loser / 07/31/2012 at 10:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML
by bigmistake / 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up.… Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But… Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he put me through so much heartache last year was…