About Rulerray97 : I'm Arlie :) you can snapchat me @ arlief4
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Rulerray97's favorite FMLs
Today, my friend spotted for me while I was lifting a barbell. He thought it would be hilarious to tickle my armpits as I lifted it all the way up. I can still taste vomit in my mouth and it hurts to breathe. FML
by not jacked / 04/20/2016 at 7:35am / United States (Connecticut) / Health
Today, my son is having housing issues, so I let him stay at my place for a while. Today, he found out that the quiet, dorky-looking professor who lives next door is an MMA fighter. He tried to break into the guy's house in the middle of the night and is now in the hospital. FML
by Jim / 04/19/2016 at 1:25pm / United States / Kids
Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2016 at 9:12am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML
by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 4:21pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML
by Anonymous / 11/21/2015 at 7:44am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/13/2015 at 3:35am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML
by Hank-T4 / 10/11/2015 at 7:45am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by dormlyfe / 09/23/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend constantly mentioning pegging and asking me to let her do it, I caved and figured I might as well stand by my "try anything once" rule. Her response? Saying she knew I was gay all along and dumping me. The fuck? FML
by no I've never asked for anal / 09/20/2015 at 9:44am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML
by anonymous / 09/13/2015 at 11:34am / Luxembourg / Work
Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML
by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 11:26am / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids
by tkoester / 08/29/2015 at 12:29am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by wot02 / 07/26/2015 at 10:02pm / United States / Intimacy
by fuck / 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
- Today I got a message from a girl I've been dating; I've dated a few women the last couple of years… Today, I accidentally slept in. My toddler had decided to finger paint with poop all over the walls… Today, I can out as transgender to my friend. They frowned and said, "If you're gay, just say so."…