Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

RoseBlack123

Search for a member

RoseBlack123

46Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3794
  • Number of comments : 216
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About RoseBlack123 : Just your average coffee loving, book reading, extreme sarcasm enthusiast! :D

RoseBlack123's page activity

Visits<b>taterrtots</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 3:59am<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 5:14pm<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 11:18pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 10:31am<b>guss5441</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 9:10am<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 10:00pm<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 3:53pm<b>Taymoo1515</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 6:51am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 2:25pm<b>teamkakashi</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 7:49pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 11:26am<b>Fritz_Rfunny1</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 10:07pm<b>SouL_WraitH</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 10:44am<b>reapper9000</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 6:38pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:22pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 8:37pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 11:43am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 8:25am

Fucked!<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 9:53pm<b>timthescott</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:07pm<b>moron011</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:04am<b>niksatter96</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:02pm<b>oobergoober89</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:25pm<b>quiksilver415</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:11pm<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:42pm<b>YourOpinionSucks</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 3:47pm<b>JustCauseRalph</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:06pm<b>int15</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:28pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 3:54am<b>Matheo</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 11:29pm<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:12pm<b>mattgainey</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 7:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 7:21pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 6:19pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:45pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 4:48pm

RoseBlack123's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of RoseBlack123's badges

RoseBlack123's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43028) - you deserved it (3665)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54867) - you deserved it (12514)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51631) - you deserved it (25670)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

#20790691
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49867) - you deserved it (4076)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

#20790603
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60552) - you deserved it (6457)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I overheard my ripped, handsome, genetically perfect brother telling my mom how "fat people" make him "nervous". I have only recently accepted my weight, after struggling for years. I now understand why my brother rarely talks to me. FML

#20790160
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51502) - you deserved it (6590)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:53am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

#20758994
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49051) - you deserved it (9503)

On 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm - intimacy - by whorecrux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at school, I saw the guy I like at his locker. I decided to run up from behind and surprise him. I ended up accidentally slamming his locker on his fingers. FML

#20587958
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41277) - you deserved it (42987)

On 04/13/2013 at 11:52am - love - by saxophone911 - United States

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51867) - you deserved it (14433)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

#20587303
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46539) - you deserved it (19435) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, when she reached over and twisted my nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. FML

#20586964
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36917) - you deserved it (13717)

On 04/12/2013 at 7:57pm - misc - by SoreNips (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37032) - you deserved it (5383)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62417) - you deserved it (12029)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: