About RoboCunnilingus : I don't want to open up. If I tell you what's on my coconut, it'll confuse both of us.
RoboCunnilingus's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
RoboCunnilingus's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 8:52pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML
by Badhairday / 06/11/2015 at 7:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by kronic1990 / 01/14/2015 at 10:35am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML
by con135 / 01/12/2015 at 8:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by monster in law. / 12/17/2014 at 2:35am / United States / Love
by justjoking / 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm / United States / Work
by idiots / 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
by mellielynnemily / 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/21/2014 at 11:37am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm / United Kingdom (Portsmouth) / Miscellaneous
by back to creepers / 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Geek
by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm / Sweden / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 1:26am / United States (New York) / Love
- Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all… Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having it off. He also does this while he… Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and…