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Rndmtsk

Offline (the 09/13/2014 at 12:23am) | Search for a member

Rndmtsk

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 December 1982 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 706
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Rndmtsk's page activity

Visits<b>XXgutterflowerXX</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:25am<b>Silveera</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 11:29pm

Rndmtsk's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Rndmtsk's badges

Rndmtsk's favorite FMLs

Today, I was telling my aunt that I had achieved my blue belt in karate. Looking at my short hair, she says, "You're going to end up a lesbian." Thanks Aunt L. Love you too. FML

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30344) - you deserved it (14555)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28389) - you deserved it (7437)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25172) - you deserved it (2194)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29293) - you deserved it (2824) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML

#19557308
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27615) - you deserved it (3053)

On 05/01/2012 at 7:02am - intimacy - by epicsquishii (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got punched in the face by a drunk because I couldn't give him any cigarettes. I don't smoke. FML

#18619615
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27369) - you deserved it (2423)

On 12/26/2011 at 10:15pm - misc - by Jbs4lf (man) - Belgium

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28180) - you deserved it (3434)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40798) - you deserved it (5247)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML

#17988590
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32569) - you deserved it (2718)

On 10/15/2011 at 10:02am - health - by KilteDKilleR - United States (Utah)

Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML

#17727112
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30417) - you deserved it (12633)

On 09/12/2011 at 9:52am - animals - by squeak (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while at my boyfriend's cousin's birthday party, I was hanging around with his sister as I didn't know anyone. She was talking to some friends when one of them asked her, "So, is your brother still going out with that crazy chick?" Her answer was to introduce me. FML

#17609422
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27322) - you deserved it (3962)

On 08/29/2011 at 1:15am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML

#15240509
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25483) - you deserved it (8359)

On 03/08/2011 at 1:23pm - health - by caqi33 - United States

Today, in math class, I got an answer "wrong." The teacher yelled at me, then he realized that my answer was correct. Then he yelled at me for not correcting him. FML

#13375159
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30679) - you deserved it (2732)

On 10/09/2010 at 4:22am - misc - by jessii - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML

#12986689
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8003) - you deserved it (24398)

On 09/10/2010 at 2:28am - work - by theshad (man) - Reserved



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