Rndmtsk

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Offline (the 09/13/2014 at 12:23am)

Rndmtsk

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 December 1982 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1177
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Rndmtsk's page activity

Visits<b>XXgutterflowerXX</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:25am<b>Silveera</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 11:29pm

Rndmtsk's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Rndmtsk's badges

Rndmtsk's favorite FMLs

Today, I was telling my aunt that I had achieved my blue belt in karate. Looking at my short hair, she says, "You're going to end up a lesbian." Thanks Aunt L. Love you too. FML

by colorguard13 / 04/01/2013 at 8:15pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

by Facepalmum / 01/10/2013 at 1:28am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

by ewww / 08/26/2012 at 5:21am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love

Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML

by epicsquishii / 05/01/2012 at 7:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got punched in the face by a drunk because I couldn't give him any cigarettes. I don't smoke. FML

by Jbs4lf / 12/26/2011 at 10:15pm / Belgium / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

by preggers / 11/30/2011 at 9:57am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML

by KilteDKilleR / 10/15/2011 at 10:02am / United States (Utah) / Health

Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML

by squeak / 09/12/2011 at 9:52am / United Kingdom (London) / Animals

Today, while at my boyfriend's cousin's birthday party, I was hanging around with his sister as I didn't know anyone. She was talking to some friends when one of them asked her, "So, is your brother still going out with that crazy chick?" Her answer was to introduce me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2011 at 1:15am / United States / Love

Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML

by caqi33 / 03/08/2011 at 1:23pm / United States / Health

Today, in math class, I got an answer "wrong." The teacher yelled at me, then he realized that my answer was correct. Then he yelled at me for not correcting him. FML

by jessii / 10/09/2010 at 4:22am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML

by theshad / 09/10/2010 at 2:28am / Reserved / Work