Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

RiverD23

Search for a member

RiverD23
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 693
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

RiverD23's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of RiverD23's badges

RiverD23's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML

#16945006
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38571) - you deserved it (3563)

On 07/02/2011 at 2:44am - intimacy - by beardedlady - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while making love, he farted. And blamed it on his dog, who wasn't even in the room. The smell alone could have killed me. FML

#16905122
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33301) - you deserved it (5342)

On 06/29/2011 at 1:13am - intimacy - by crazy_bitch122 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

#16877997
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48377) - you deserved it (5459)

On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

#16474078
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40115) - you deserved it (2868)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I flew home to Germany to see my wife before I'm deployed, only to find her in bed with another guy. She explained that she wants us to stay together, but she can't take a year without being intimate with someone. FML

#16468049
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50721) - you deserved it (4616)

On 06/02/2011 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by jsalmons - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10136) - you deserved it (28930)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

#15942316
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25589) - you deserved it (3590)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

#15896670
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41002) - you deserved it (6672)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML

#15884544
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22595) - you deserved it (2009)

On 04/22/2011 at 10:26am - work - by op-poopy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

#15867292
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27223) - you deserved it (11233)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:24pm - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18257) - you deserved it (28315)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43514) - you deserved it (6376)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66909) - you deserved it (9318)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

#15178043
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32559) - you deserved it (3891)

On 03/02/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by Worstjob (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

#15002281
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40585) - you deserved it (5118)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: