RiverD23

Search for a member

Offline (the 07/01/2016 at 1:08am)

RiverD23

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 February 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3487
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

RiverD23's page activity

Visits<b>Ewilan</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 1:40pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 3:07am<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 3:55pm<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:20pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 1:12am<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 2:46am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 5:47pm

RiverD23's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of RiverD23's badges

RiverD23's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML

by danonno / 08/02/2012 at 5:08pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML

by hopeless / 07/06/2012 at 1:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML

by Uncomfy / 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

by habbsrule / 06/15/2012 at 10:21am / Canada / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

by oh lord / 05/27/2012 at 12:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML

by Lonely_Army / 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm / Qatar / Miscellaneous

Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML

by ordinaryday / 05/22/2012 at 8:21am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

by GetHardOrGoHome / 03/31/2012 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

by Susan / 02/28/2012 at 6:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I argued with my girlfriend over her constantly wasting our money on acupuncture. She said if I could prove it was baloney, she would stop. After I showed her copious amounts of scientific proof debunking it as pseudo-science, she told me we're "taking a break" from our relationship. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2012 at 9:48pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

by Rachal / 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health