RitzBitzFei

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RitzBitzFei

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3981
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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RitzBitzFei's page activity

Visits<b>ninjanick1911</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 10:35pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:38pm

RitzBitzFei's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

RitzBitzFei's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that bees like to make hives in odd places, like in your vintage car's trunk. I also found out that they don't like it when you break their hive in half when you open the trunk to get out a spare tire. FML

by Stung / 08/03/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working as a host at a pasta dinner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said "that's my mom". FML

by bigmouth / 08/02/2009 at 3:35am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friend and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML

by anonymouschicka / 08/01/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Work

Today, I gave my mother a pre-prepared deposit envelope with my fortnightly wage in it, in cash. I tell her exactly where the deposit box is and what to do. I'm now desperately calling the bank because my mother accidentely put my $1200 deposit in the little trash can for receipts under the ATM. FML

by outagrand / 08/01/2009 at 10:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

by Glassjaw / 08/01/2009 at 3:23am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was 'A man running'. I didn't even get an apology. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2009 at 12:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum deleted my college research assignment on rape because the subject was too vulgar. I had worked on it for the past month and it was worth 50% of my grade. It's due tomorrow. FML

by mandy / 07/31/2009 at 9:51pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

by ohhmydamn / 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

by dumbo / 07/30/2009 at 10:43am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

by Rae / 07/30/2009 at 9:56am / United States / Kids

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

by Herdad / 07/30/2009 at 7:34am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

by emily / 07/30/2009 at 4:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom asked me if I was crying because my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. That wasn't why I was crying. My mom knows things before I do. FML

by screwed / 07/29/2009 at 11:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML

by arsenic660 / 07/29/2009 at 11:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous