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Riften_Guard

Offline (the 04/14/2015 at 2:39am) | Search for a member

Riften_Guard

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 553
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Riften_Guard : I am here to laugh at your failures

Riften_Guard's page activity

Visits<b>AnimeAddict95</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:53pm<b>ClaireQ123</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:49am<b>CosmicElk</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 6:58am<b>chickenlips23</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:13am<b>wolffy45</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:39pm<b>fenixfim</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:32pm<b>MiguelRojas</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:23pm<b>noelsom7</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:43pm<b>mill2775</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:37pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 7:13pm<b>PhantomFollower</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:26pm<b>ThunderKunt</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 10:34pm<b>MinerZ</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 4:03pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 8:39am<b>last_kings84</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:49am<b>JetSnipe42</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:38am<b>hondaguyy</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 3:23pm<b>FallenBaphomet</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 3:04pm

Fucked!<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 8:20am

Riften_Guard's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Riften_Guard's badges

Riften_Guard's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45981) - you deserved it (3357)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31627) - you deserved it (9707)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31627) - you deserved it (9707)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I am struggling with exhaustion due to insomnia. The reason I cannot sleep is crippling anxiety - not about my complicated romantic situation, my pileup of work, or even my relationship with my father. No, I'm afraid of a blind ship captain I saw in a dream three days ago. FML

#21327341
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25188) - you deserved it (4579)

On 12/30/2014 at 6:47pm - health - by insomniacap (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while working in a restaurant, a woman told me I was completely incompetent, was the worst hostess she'd ever seen, and that she would call my district manager non-stop until I was fired. I'd clocked in less than 10 minutes before and hadn't said a single word to her. FML

Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML

#21149491
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45230) - you deserved it (3368)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:44pm - misc - by nikaea (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
106 comments

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

#21118654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54504) - you deserved it (4192)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:11am - misc - by shorty (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54119) - you deserved it (4743)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

#21108356
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43201) - you deserved it (3263)

On 04/09/2014 at 8:37am - misc - by not_this_shit_again (man) - Singapore

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42652) - you deserved it (9927)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32532) - you deserved it (16954)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

#21092367
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43841) - you deserved it (4420)

On 03/21/2014 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

#21061598
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40019) - you deserved it (4592)

On 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by fuck my goddamn life (man) - United States



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