RidingCJ

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Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 6:09pm)

RidingCJ

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1373
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

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RidingCJ's page activity

Visits<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 3:32am<b>SweetMaria</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 12:24pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 5:32am<b>silkyred</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 4:34pm<b>alexishbu</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 12:44pm<b>plebs_everywhere</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 10:19am<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 3:58pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 6:15am<b>cdncw</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:38pm<b>LordGoober</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 8:40pm<b>xEliteVenom</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 12:16am<b>jshakd642</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 5:48pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:02pm<b>SMUTflakes</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 4:07am<b>Hemaglobin</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 8:15pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:09pm<b>youdontknowme24</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 9:22am

RidingCJ's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of RidingCJ's badges

RidingCJ's favorite FMLs

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

by CallaC / 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 8:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

by breebree-0 / 03/04/2012 at 2:36pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

by fianceeless / 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out that the girl who my high school boyfriend cheated on me with is now the woman my husband is having an affair with. FML

by sad / 01/08/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

by obsessed / 11/27/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching my 7 year old daughter and her friend jump on our trampoline. I was really impressed by all the flips they were doing, and I told her "Hey! I can't even do that." To that her friend replied " Of course you can't. You're fat!" FML

by madeyoulaugh / 11/25/2009 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I watched Paranormal Activity which is known to be the scariest film ever. After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML

by J / 11/24/2009 at 1:45pm / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Animals

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail which splattered it into my face. FML

by shando / 11/07/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML

by dumbblonde / 08/05/2009 at 11:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals