RetardedBullFrog

Search for a member

Offline (the 08/28/2014 at 10:42pm)

RetardedBullFrog

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9802
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About RetardedBullFrog : I just hop around all day. Sometimes I get out of my pond to post stuff on FML. I get help from my butler ( kid in the picture ) as to what to write in it. I enjoy playing sports with my buddies down at the pond next to mine, we usually just play basketball and eat flies.

RetardedBullFrog's page activity

Visits<b>UltimateGamerQ8</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 9:36pm<b>britbear0731</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 12:30pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 12:15am<b>Mortoli</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:34am<b>CandienInEurope</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 2:10am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 11:25pm<b>Umbreon_Princess</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 10:00am<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 1:34am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 6:51pm<b>kubackster</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:30am<b>OMGITSAKITTY</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:12pm<b>Alup132</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 10:19am<b>socoldmusic13</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 8:59pm<b>Lilsbills</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 12:04am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 3:26am<b>Bilbo_Swaggins</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:24am<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 7:26pm<b>AliceWhovian</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 4:28am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 4:25am

RetardedBullFrog's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of RetardedBullFrog's badges

RetardedBullFrog's favorite FMLs

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

by stinky / 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend rear ended a cop car because he was texting me. I was sitting next to him. FML

by yessir / 11/30/2011 at 8:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

by cheated / 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2011 at 11:48am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML

by CRC / 11/23/2011 at 10:38am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML

by BadFather / 11/21/2011 at 1:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I was caught stealing a video game. I realized after my parents were called that the case was actually empty. FML

by Emil / 11/20/2011 at 4:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

by Tyler / 11/19/2011 at 3:05am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML

by hannahk267 / 11/18/2011 at 8:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 9:06am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while driving and singing, I noticed a large fly inside my car. I stopped singing so it wouldn't fly into my mouth. That didn't stop it from flying up my nose, causing me to swerve and drive into a ditch. FML

by jdancerchick / 11/16/2011 at 8:47am / United States / Transportation

Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML

by SetoAyumi / 11/15/2011 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

by MY CAR / 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm / United States (California) / Animals