Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Resol84

Online | Search for a member

Resol84

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 July 1984 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 166
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Resol84's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Resol84's badges

Resol84's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35992) - you deserved it (5734)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was tending the cash register. I scanned a lady's items which totaled $89.68. She paid with a $100 bill. I gave her $11.32 change. She angrily gave back the extra dollar and complained about "schools nowadays". I'm an AP Calculus student. FML

#14563529
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10278) - you deserved it (43763)

On 01/13/2011 at 6:07am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was making out with a guy in a washroom at a party. Things got heavy and the guy lifted me onto the sink. The sink broke off from the wall. This caused a flood in the apartment. The party was canceled. FML

#14553118
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14782) - you deserved it (34436)

On 01/12/2011 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML

#14550598
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22372) - you deserved it (9895)

On 01/12/2011 at 3:23am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51054) - you deserved it (8672)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally found the words to describe how I felt after 2 years of depression. I asked on Yahoo Answers what I should do next. The most 'helpful' answer told me to go on a picnic. FML

#14386162
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10680) - you deserved it (24045)

On 12/29/2010 at 8:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43312) - you deserved it (10435)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML

#14179571
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6681) - you deserved it (111541)

On 12/12/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by dumbass1991 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML

#13954362
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26066) - you deserved it (4606)

On 11/23/2010 at 9:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

#13654098
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38029) - you deserved it (29303)

On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)

Today, I learned I was adopted and that my parents had died in a car accident when I was really young. My girlfriend was sitting next to me when I got the news, and several hours later broke up with me in a text stating, "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have real parents." FML

#13506620
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78506) - you deserved it (3500)

On 10/19/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by losingit (man) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML

#13485741
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9189) - you deserved it (55158)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Nobody - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor's office, they did their regular check up, and found "odd red marks" on the inside of my thighs. They started to think it might be a skin disease, I had to explain to my mother and the doctor that it was a hickey from my boyfriend. FML

#13480134
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26116) - you deserved it (13010)

On 10/17/2010 at 12:37am - intimacy - by hickhick (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found my brother tampering with my laptop. He had changed the entire settings, in ways I don't even know how to fix. I finally had to get my mom to threaten him to change it back to its original setting. I'm 15. He's six and can barely get dressed by himself. FML

#13455982
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25500) - you deserved it (9170)

On 10/15/2010 at 4:33am - misc - by fmlforreal - Singapore

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38044) - you deserved it (21781)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: