About RentaName : My goal is to offend as many people as possible. I am the captain of cheese.
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RentaName's favorite FMLs
by shadowsorel / 08/30/2012 at 4:34pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/30/2012 at 2:33pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
by Sarah / 08/30/2012 at 8:58am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, after finishing a song during karaoke, a man came up to me and held out his hand. Quite flattered, I shook it, said thanks and that I was glad he enjoyed it. Turns out he was next and just wanted the microphone. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2012 at 4:52am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by freaked out / 08/30/2012 at 4:04am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a planned 12-hour power cut for maintenance work, which I'd forgot all about. In need of a shower before work, I spent 45 minutes boiling pots of water on the stove to take a lukewarm, 6-inch deep bath, before realizing my water heater runs on natural gas and was working fine. FML
by Powerless / 08/30/2012 at 2:05am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML
by DamnTornadoAlley / 08/30/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by nolife / 08/29/2012 at 9:33pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I babysat for a woman for the first time. When I arrived, there was a large pile of dishes in the sink. I decided to wash the dishes for her while the kids napped. She came home, noticed it, and bitched me out over how I'd only done it "to try and get more money" out of her. What? FML
by never again / 08/29/2012 at 9:03pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I listened to my roommate and her friend struggle with their math homework for an hour. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that I'm a math major and repeatedly offered my help. They'd rather fail math than be around me. FML
by foreveralone.jpg / 08/29/2012 at 4:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML
by Pooping / 08/29/2012 at 3:19pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, my car was towed for the second time in front of my own house. They tried to tell me it was because they didn't think I lived there anymore. The person who had it towed had just spoken to me not three hours before. FML
by drixxy / 08/29/2012 at 11:01am / United States (California) / Money
- Today, While at a resort, my friends and I decided to go to the indoor pool. I was surprised when I… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck… Today my fiancee and I were having sex, it was lovely and we both were really into it. I decided to…