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Rebberfoon's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Alexandra / 09/20/2011 at 4:25am / Lebanon / Intimacy
Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML
by ugly? / 09/20/2011 at 4:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Cantgetno / 09/20/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
by Anonymous / 09/20/2011 at 3:24am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by wf / 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm / United States / Intimacy
by ohmaigawd / 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm / Argentina / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML
by omfgnooo / 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/09/2011 at 9:36am / United States (New York) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by doughgirl101 / 09/07/2011 at 1:59am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by wheezy / 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by Annie / 08/30/2011 at 11:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…