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Rebberfoon's favorite FMLs
Today, I came home from work to find the front door wide open, the stove on, my 5 year old cutting up the curtain, and my 2 year old smearing chocolate sauce on the floor. My fiancé was nowhere to be found. Later on, I got a text from him saying that he'd gone to watch the footy. FML
by chocolateisyum / 10/09/2011 at 7:13am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 9:20pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
by EFFFF / 10/08/2011 at 6:10pm / United States (Idaho) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 11:54am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 9:04am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2011 at 5:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML
by bdjsbskl / 10/07/2011 at 1:55am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
by hazlanz216 / 10/06/2011 at 6:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
by dmanrique / 10/04/2011 at 11:10am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML
by Anonymous / 10/04/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Iowa) / Animals
Today, I was denied a waitressing job at a local diner I have been going to for years. Due to the fact that my name is Julia. They already have a waitress there named Julie. Apparently, I would "create too much confusion." FML
by Julia / 10/03/2011 at 11:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML
by rufusthepenis / 10/02/2011 at 6:57pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 11:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, the boys who sit at my math table decided it would be funny to throw broken pencils at my boobs to see if they were real. They did this the entire class period. I have to work with this group for the rest of the school year. FML
by hellokitty133 / 09/29/2011 at 9:56pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my grandmother forced me to help her clean a house, which she knows makes me sick. I wonder… Today, I was mugged by a homeless lady who was eating a pudding cup with a spoon. At one point she… Today, while talking to my dad, he threw a ball to me and it nailed me in the nuts. I stumbled back…