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RayneSmytson's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
RayneSmytson's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/23/2016 at 12:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, my cat managed to digest some of the grass she ate. This makes her poop come out daisy-chained, and sometimes leaves a piece dangling from her ass on a string of grass. Then she runs around like crazy until it falls off, if possible on my bed. I had to catch her and pull it out by hand. FML
by DeeZeeMb / 12/07/2015 at 4:04pm / Slovenia (Maribor) / Animals
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
by Lady Vulva of the Redwater / 09/18/2015 at 10:56pm / Intimacy
Today, after studying for hours a day for the past month, sacrificing weekends and time with my husband, I finally took the exam required for a possible promotion at work. Out of over a hundred questions, I only knew the answer to 3 of them for sure. Boy, am I glad I studied so hard. FML
by gracehi / 09/10/2015 at 1:45pm / United States (California) / Work
by JordanAfml / 09/03/2015 at 5:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Animals
by FMLintheanus / 05/27/2015 at 12:29am / United States (Indiana) / Animals
Today, I was pulled over by a policeman. He thought I was drunk, after doing the "walk in a straight line" test and the "finger-to-nose" test. It wasn't until after I got a fine that I got it through to him that I have cerebellar ataxia, and that I wasn't drunk. FML
by NotDrunk / 04/03/2015 at 8:42pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by dogbreederssuck / 02/03/2015 at 10:26am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Animals
by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
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