Ray_of_midnight

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Offline (the 11/21/2016 at 6:56am)

Ray_of_midnight

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Somerville, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1966 (50 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4566
  • Number of comments : 1224
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Ray_of_midnight : I may be a Ray of Midnight like Eeyore, but I at least try to be funny about it like Dorothy Parker.

Ray_of_midnight's page activity

Visits<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 12/03/2016 at 6:56pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 6:08pm<b>ananicosia</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 3:45pm<b>Capt_T0asty</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 8:16am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 4:19am<b>Bulbadragon</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 5:09pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 9:16pm<b>pinkster2014</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:10pm<b>bandeek</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 8:39pm<b>JLBavard</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 7:26pm<b>nabeelamakani</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 5:32pm<b>776279</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 3:34am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 7:54pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:16pm<b>kaz55</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:51pm<b>laurenswims13</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:43am<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:19pm<b>gracethetwin</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:54pm

Fucked!<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 12/04/2016 at 12:56am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 4:16am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:07am

Ray_of_midnight's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Ray_of_midnight's badges

Ray_of_midnight's favorite FMLs

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML

by colorfun / 05/17/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

by atleese / 12/31/2011 at 10:37am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2011 at 1:43pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

by halloweed / 11/16/2011 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

by danii / 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

by ThisBlows / 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, after several long years, a lot of debt, and two great degrees from a top university, I had to move back in with my parents, because no matter where I look, I can't find a job. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2011 at 10:19pm / Reserved / Work

Today, my husband used our last $2000 to buy himself a motorcycle. It's supposed to "save us a lot on gas money." FML

by julesmommy / 09/08/2011 at 1:36am / United States (Washington) / Money

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health