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Ray_of_midnight

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Ray_of_midnight

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Somerville, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1966 (49 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3622
  • Number of comments : 1210
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Ray_of_midnight : I may be a Ray of Midnight like Eeyore, but I at least try to be funny about it like Dorothy Parker.

Ray_of_midnight's page activity

Visits<b>pinkster2014</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:10pm<b>bandeek</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 8:39pm<b>JLBavard</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 7:26pm<b>nabeelamakani</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 5:32pm<b>776279</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 3:34am<b>boricualuv</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 7:54pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:16pm<b>kaz55</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:51pm<b>laurenswims13</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:43am<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:19pm<b>gracethetwin</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:54pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:07pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:33pm<b>reburkah</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 5:50pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 5:54am<b>swanheart</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:40am<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:38pm<b>Megt567</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:17pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 4:16am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:07am

Ray_of_midnight's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Ray_of_midnight's badges

Ray_of_midnight's favorite FMLs

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31316) - you deserved it (2151)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27892) - you deserved it (16312)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33208) - you deserved it (3819)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33208) - you deserved it (3819)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

#18662778
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15379) - you deserved it (27845)

On 12/31/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by atleese - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML

#18452728
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34091) - you deserved it (2360)

On 12/07/2011 at 1:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

#18260975
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36644) - you deserved it (6917)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

#17908235
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7766) - you deserved it (59056)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

#17795601
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48168) - you deserved it (8466)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89622) - you deserved it (14002)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after several long years, a lot of debt, and two great degrees from a top university, I had to move back in with my parents, because no matter where I look, I can't find a job. FML

#17707325
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35785) - you deserved it (3776)

On 09/09/2011 at 10:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my husband used our last $2000 to buy himself a motorcycle. It's supposed to "save us a lot on gas money." FML

#17694243
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22855) - you deserved it (2796)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:36am - money - by julesmommy - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

#17690581
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23222) - you deserved it (4125)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32926) - you deserved it (3634)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States



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