RavenBlaze

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Offline (the 11/25/2014 at 6:03am)

RavenBlaze

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 August 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4493
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About RavenBlaze : Music and Movies man! To keep me happy I love Mumford and Sons and an awesome movie! Doctor Who is the greatest and so are burritos!

RavenBlaze's page activity

Visits<b>abdullahcakeman</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:13am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 1:24am

RavenBlaze's FML badges

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RavenBlaze's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

by anonymous / 11/04/2014 at 7:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 11:47am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

by super maman / 09/29/2014 at 11:08pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

by Anonymoose / 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 10:46pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

by Operation Yewtree here I come / 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

by dicksonthebrain / 09/26/2014 at 9:03am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 2:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

by no / 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

by imgonnadie / 09/07/2014 at 11:11am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous