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Randomness90

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Randomness90
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 October 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 680
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Randomness90 : Message me if you want. if not thats cool too.

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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Randomness90's favorite FMLs

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45775) - you deserved it (9033)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37488) - you deserved it (9928)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34080) - you deserved it (13146)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

#21073837
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37681) - you deserved it (3338)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:06am - kids - by Ohgodmother (man) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, before a blind date with a girl set up by my flatmate, I put some aftershave on. Then I realised I had forgotten my contact lenses. When I put them in it caused so much pain that in my attempt to reach the bathroom I walked into a wall. When I got there, she saw my swollen face and left. FML

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48356) - you deserved it (29455)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43099) - you deserved it (4322)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

#21021931
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37925) - you deserved it (11547)

On 01/08/2014 at 10:23pm - misc - by chapstick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was asked to go to a ball by the guy I like. The theme is masquerade. He made me a Robin mask; he's wearing a Batman mask. FML

#21021762
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36731) - you deserved it (10109)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:54pm - love - by Unfortunately Me (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41447) - you deserved it (4618)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

#21000124
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38173) - you deserved it (2789)

On 12/21/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by FML (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, a weird guy in pajama pants and a fake hair-hat kept standing by us at a concert. Everyone talked about what a creep he was. I would have too, but he was my dad. FML

#20997867
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40312) - you deserved it (3905)

On 12/19/2013 at 8:48am - misc - by sammers27 (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

#20997138
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41925) - you deserved it (2878)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML

#20989886
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35879) - you deserved it (4767)

On 12/12/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned that when your mom threatens to embarrass you by singing in public, the wrong response is, "Yeah? I dare you." FML



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