Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

R00ST3R

Search for a member

R00ST3R

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1089
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

R00ST3R's page activity

Visits<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:52pm<b>Kitten_love</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:09pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 7:34pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:01am<b>matuf</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 6:53am<b>max367</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 7:45pm<b>raven83</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:38am<b>Generic_Toaster</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 1:19am<b>eagleriverjohn</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:04pm<b>tuxedoandex</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 12:12am<b>laamjidkek</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 3:50am<b>KoolerTheFirst</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 2:33pm<b>JellyJace</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 10:40am<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 3:38pm<b>turdoblast</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 6:52pm<b>linawangfang</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 3:09am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:26pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:56am

R00ST3R's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of R00ST3R's badges

R00ST3R's favorite FMLs

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45636) - you deserved it (4986)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

#20919168
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45783) - you deserved it (4024)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm - money - by and she blames me -_- (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

#20915864
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44732) - you deserved it (4870)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm - kids - by SlapAndTickle - United States

Today, my boyfriend won a diamond engagement ring through a citywide competition. Instead of proposing to me, he's selling it. FML

#20913492
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45290) - you deserved it (15318)

On 10/09/2013 at 3:03am - love - by arthise (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was prank called yet again by someone asking for a game that was released over 10 years ago. The store I work at only sells modern titles, and I angrily slammed the phone down. My boss saw and fired me on the spot. FML

Today, I got in a heated fight and ended up being punched in the jaw. The fight was about Harry Potter. FML

#20856159
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36588) - you deserved it (20104)

On 08/27/2013 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

#20752893
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51935) - you deserved it (5958)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

#20716353
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39813) - you deserved it (7218)

On 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML

#20660609
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42656) - you deserved it (21184)

On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52875) - you deserved it (7428)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

#20618145
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43779) - you deserved it (16825)

On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63344) - you deserved it (11358)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML

#20545967
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10481) - you deserved it (68661)

On 03/16/2013 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

#20507650
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36401) - you deserved it (10596)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:42am - animals - by bettercallpeta - United States

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

#20430634
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28978) - you deserved it (3242)

On 12/29/2012 at 8:01pm - work - by nose hurts (man) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: