QueefBucket

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Offline (the 08/09/2016 at 8:27am)

QueefBucket

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 January 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 900
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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QueefBucket's page activity

Visits<b>Crushedskull</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:11am<b>abattior</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 4:55pm

QueefBucket's FML badges

YDI master

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Supersize Menu

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QueefBucket's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2015 at 9:00am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML

by pheonixxe / 06/01/2015 at 6:45pm / United States (Wyoming) / Kids

Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2015 at 10:21am / Mexico / Health

Today, I was bitten by a therapy dog. FML

by queengarmin / 04/25/2015 at 4:42pm / United States (California) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

by killme / 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML

by retailshell / 01/28/2015 at 10:01am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm / United States (Delaware) / Animals

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

by anon / 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

by AOart1st / 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

by omgdesdes / 11/15/2014 at 8:29pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, one of my debate opponents used the "Bill O'Reilly defense" against my arguments. This involved saying "You can't explain that" about easily explained stuff, and speaking louder and louder to drown out my voice. He ended up getting a better grade than mine. FML

by shreking_bawl / 11/14/2014 at 1:39pm / Norway / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 6:55am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Kids