Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

QueefBucket

Offline (the 01/23/2016 at 4:04pm) | Search for a member

QueefBucket

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 January 1997 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 664
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

QueefBucket's page activity

Visits<b>Crushedskull</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:11am<b>abattior</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 4:55pm

QueefBucket's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of QueefBucket's badges

QueefBucket's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29279) - you deserved it (2982)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML

#21470947
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27767) - you deserved it (2971)

On 09/21/2015 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37193) - you deserved it (7808)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML

#21419303
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30234) - you deserved it (7860)

On 06/01/2015 at 6:45pm - kids - by pheonixxe (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML

#21416582
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30324) - you deserved it (2641)

On 05/27/2015 at 10:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico

Today, I was bitten by a therapy dog. FML

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34890) - you deserved it (3443)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML

#21345551
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30842) - you deserved it (2540)

On 01/28/2015 at 10:01am - work - by retailshell (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34935) - you deserved it (5548)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

#21332664
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37016) - you deserved it (5839)

On 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45288) - you deserved it (2670)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

#21303024
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34572) - you deserved it (16670)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by AOart1st (man) - United States (California)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

#21299790
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37629) - you deserved it (5688)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by omgdesdes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, one of my debate opponents used the "Bill O'Reilly defense" against my arguments. This involved saying "You can't explain that" about easily explained stuff, and speaking louder and louder to drown out my voice. He ended up getting a better grade than mine. FML

#21298962
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30458) - you deserved it (3262)

On 11/14/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by shreking_bawl (man) - Norway

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34845) - you deserved it (3168)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: