Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PureTime

Offline (the 06/27/2015 at 6:03am) | Search for a member

PureTime

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : New Paltz, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1212
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

PureTime's page activity

Visits<b>sammiestar21</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:06pm<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:39pm

PureTime's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of PureTime's badges

PureTime's favorite FMLs

Today, at the supermarket, a woman came up to me and said I looked just like her son, who was killed in Afghanistan. She tearfully asked if she could hug me "one last time". It was a little weird, but I let her. 10 minutes later, at the checkout, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

#21425871
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31877) - you deserved it (4452)

On 06/14/2015 at 9:41am - money - by Justin 'Cuntface' Bieber III (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a customer yelled at me because the cherry pie he bought had cherries in it, and he wanted a refund. FML

#21419579
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26544) - you deserved it (1571)

On 06/02/2015 at 4:59am - work - by IrNatalie - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was so hungry when I finished work that I grabbed some chips to eat on the bus home. The guy who sat next to me spat in them as he left to get off. FML

#21373490
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (221) - you deserved it (13)

On 03/12/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Metallurge - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, my boyfriend slept with my sister. "Accidentally", apparently. FML

#21322801
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37523) - you deserved it (2953)

On 12/23/2014 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

#21321539
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36043) - you deserved it (4112)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada

Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML

#21313753
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34493) - you deserved it (3278)

On 12/08/2014 at 12:58pm - love - by Anonomous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML

#21305183
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32732) - you deserved it (3597)

On 11/24/2014 at 1:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML

#21304848
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33793) - you deserved it (2730)

On 11/23/2014 at 10:48pm - work - by justinmdent - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28854) - you deserved it (3454)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as I was waiting in line at the check out, some guy came up behind me, plucked a hair out of my head, and ran off with it. FML

#21295452
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32920) - you deserved it (2789)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17081) - you deserved it (30840)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML

#21294259
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54116) - you deserved it (2981)

On 11/07/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I took a army-mandated personality evaluation test. The results said I had a high chance of schizophrenia and multiple personality syndrome. Part of me says that the test is probably spot-on, the other part says it has to be a mistake. Apparently this is another sign of schizophrenia. FML

Today, my ex sent me a pack of beer to screw with me. I'm still going to AA, and I thought I was almost over it. Five bottles later, I realized I'm not. We didn't break up over my drinking, either; it was because after just 2 weeks of dating, she threatened to kill herself if I didn't marry her. FML

#21292603
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35930) - you deserved it (3687)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:57am - health - by AAnonymous (man) - United States (Utah)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: