PureGold

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PureGold

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 341855
  • Number of comments : 484
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About PureGold : Hey people of FML!!
Instead of going out and doing something about the fact that I'm 18 and HAVE NO LIFE, I'm here on FML. And therein lies the problem. (But I haven't visited the site as many times as my profile says...that's kind of weird.)

If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

PureGold's page activity

Visits<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/26/2016 at 10:31pm<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 12:05am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 10:29pm<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 8:14pm<b>zombers2234</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 2:31am<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 2:34pm<b>roman11</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 12:08pm<b>madi10647</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 5:39pm<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 9:22pm<b>marier00</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:22pm<b>gregjasper</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:15am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 4:31pm<b>Bibblejomin</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 7:11pm<b>inthehidden</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 5:30pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 9:35am<b>kodman101</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 1:30pm<b>helptheorphans</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 11:40pm<b>Loyalteez</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 10:32am

Fucked!<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/27/2016 at 4:32am<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 6:05am<b>marier00</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:22pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:32pm<b>Mental_1456</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 11:59am<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:28am<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 3:54am<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 4:41pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 10:57pm

PureGold's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

PureGold's favorite FMLs

Today, I was helping my dad move into his new house. It's a 4-bedroom house and he has three kids so it's perfect. I was wandering around and noticed that the first bedroom is his, the second is my older brother's, the third is my younger sister's, and the fourth is an office. I have no room. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:23pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

by Soapy / 06/28/2009 at 3:23am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my mother if we could test me for OCD, since so many people have suggested to me that I might have it. She smiles at me and says, "No, honey, you're just really really weird." FML

by sad_panda / 06/26/2009 at 3:48pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML

by toothfairy / 06/26/2009 at 10:20am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

by Jeweler / 06/26/2009 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

by Jpah / 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML

by Dirtyswede / 06/17/2009 at 10:57am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

by locksmack / 06/14/2009 at 8:46am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

by Toothy_Peg / 06/13/2009 at 11:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

by Shoes / 06/12/2009 at 1:33am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I came home and found my desk devoid of all paper. Turned out my mom dropped by and wanted to surprise me by cleaning up my work area. She threw away over 7 months worth of irreplaceable original sketches, notes and storylines, thinking they were worthless. My job is a full-time artist. FML

by Kilika / 06/07/2009 at 8:17pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money