About PsychoticAsylum : I'm a pretty good person to talk to. I'm a gender neutral person, which means I do not go by she/he, him/her, or male/female. I would prefer to be addressed as they/them/their. I'm a fan of heavy metal and it's many sub-genres but I listen to other music too. I like playing Nintendo video games and reading manga/comic books. My favorite being Kabuki: Circle of Blood. I love to draw, I drew my profile picture.
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PsychoticAsylum's favorite FMLs
Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML
by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health
Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML
by helpme / 07/15/2013 at 1:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML
by mile high clubber / 07/14/2013 at 6:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
by So little trust. / 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by O_O / 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Maine) / Transportation
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML
by richardmrcs / 07/08/2013 at 4:00pm / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Animals
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by SimG / 07/07/2013 at 8:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by hamburger / 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML
by juliearis / 07/06/2013 at 3:45pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money
by BlueB / 07/06/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by forever young / 07/05/2013 at 11:16am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…